And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
