Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Randomize
