my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
