he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
