I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
