My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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