This dress was meant to end up on your floor
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
