Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize