He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
