Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Randomize
