So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize