I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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