i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Use "feeling words"
Yay
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
