so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
