I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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