i think i have herpe
just one?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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