you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
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Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
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I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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