It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
