pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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