he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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