She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
