Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
