My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
