adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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