omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
