Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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