i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
