I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
this just has baby written all over it
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
