guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
