can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
this will be a night to untag.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
