I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
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shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
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It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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