My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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