the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
