Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize