i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
