Sponge bath it is.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
