thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
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Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
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You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.