i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.