you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
