How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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