The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
