I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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