I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
