my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
