The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
