I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
send nudes
from the living room?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
