do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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