I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
