you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
