I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
