No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
