i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
