she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
