she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
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