oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
