I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Randomize